Preface:
This 'Heart page'
I want to use like a kind of diary, writing down the result of my search
and making comments about it and then maybe reporting what I'm doing to
heal myself.
In no way I am giving
advice or suggest to do something to heal someone else's disease, but of
course if somebody follows my thoughts and what I am doing and then comes
to the conclusion that this might help one's condition and then doing it,
this is every one's own decision. What I am writing here is not meant to
convince anybody of something and for sure I'm not selling anything.
***
Sometimes I will go off
the topic with my thoughts and also with the quoted information. All these
words are like bits and pieces and the reader will need to put it together
in one's own way. Misinterpretation can't be avoided, but isn't learning
to do the right by going from one mistake to the other? OK, I can see that
dealing with health issues has its risk, especially when it has to
do with the heart. I take the risk and only I am responsible for myself.
After a life long personal experience with the established health system,
I can't trust this much and even less if I look at the health situation
in general of people on this planet. The fault for this easily can be put
on whatever reason, but if medical doctors would have an overview they
would also feel responsible and do something about it, not just treating
the symptoms of their patients with pills and drugs.
***
I have hardly any medical
knowledge, but enough to see that 'healing' must include the whole being
of a person and just a part of the body; because of this I am not interested
in a treatment which just eliminates the symptoms and consequently I can't
trust this kind of medical system. For sure it is no fun for me to invest
so much time and energy in my own investigation and to take the risk to
make mistakes, which could have a fatal result. This is serious:
I prefer to die taking responsibility for myself, than to stay in dependency
of someone or something I can't trust.
History:
All my life I had
fairly good health and never any heart problems. I never did smoke or take
drugs and since I was eighteen I tried to be conscious about my diet. But
a few years ago, when I had worked physically for several years pretty
hard and then had an overload of emotionally difficulties, there were showing
up some symptoms of heart trouble which seems to signal an organic heart
defect. The check up in a hospital told that there was no organic failure
and the doctor said that the pain and the other symptoms might be caused
by stress. He didn't say anything else and I could go home, feeling released
knowing that there was no physical heart failure, but without idea what
to do with my heart trouble. I didn't do anything about it except relax
and my heart problems disappeared in a few days, probably because I was
practicing my 'Stress Release Exercise'
daily,
 
Now, several years later,
very similar symptoms were showing up, only this time more serious. (Heart
palpation, tiredness, fast heart beat even after little strain, dizziness,
not a regularly heart beat and pain.) I didn't go to a doctor, because
I am convinced that I have no organic damage (yet) and that the cause is
also, like years before, coming from too much stress. I'm sure of this,
because the weeks before I had strong stomach pain and the symptoms of
gastritis. I cured this just by relaxing and doing my 'Stress
Release Exercise'. But as the cause was not cured and the daily conditions
haven't changed, so the reactions (might it be called 'feedback' from my
system?) went onto another level: The heart!
My
investigation
I searched the Internet
about heart diseases and possible reasons and ways to heal. I picked up
some information at Wikipedia which
seem to be important:
Heart disease is a leading cause of debilitation
and death worldwide in men and women over age sixty-five. In many countries
heart disease is viewed as a "second epidemic," replacing infectious diseases
as the leading cause of death.
.
It is the leading cause of death worldwide for
both men and women. The most common kind of CAD is atherosclerosis, which
results in narrowing and hardening of the arteries. Coronary atherosclerosis
is at epidemic proportions worldwide.
.
Traditionally, CAD was seen as a disease of aging
and was observed primarily in the elderly. However, atherosclerosis is
now occurring more often in younger populations. One out of every three
individuals worldwide, dies from heart disease each year.
"The leading cause
of death worldwide is atherosclerosis, which results in narrowing and hardening
of the arteries." Probably
due to the bad and wrong nutrition, which over the years results in 'narrowing
and hardening of the arteries'. "Atherosclerosis
is now occurring more often in younger populations". As
more and more young people are eating junk food, this is not surprising.
I am eating pretty healthy, although lately I got addicted to chocolate,
getting some tension release out of it. But then getting into eating too
much, what I noticed around my belly as a fat cushion... What then was
interfering the healing of my hernia, producing more stress... As soon
I became aware of this 'vicious cycle' I had fallen, I stopped the chocolate.
Now I can understand people who are addicted to sweets and I guess with
smoking it is similar. They do it as a stress release and so becoming addicted
because they are not willing and capable to look at the cause, which lays
in the first place within themselves. They are mostly unconscious about
it and they are not capable to respond to daily life situations in a relaxed,
not judging way. They suppress their reactions and so accumulate stress.
They just can't look at themselves, not wanting to change their established
self image and their concepts. So with this they also can't change their
attitudes and habits, included their way how to relate and respond to whatever
shows up, so they can't avoid to get into stress. Instead poisoning and
weakening their body and immune system. A vicious circle, which guides
to destruction and desperation.
It seems that this
society is doing everything to keep these 'vicious cycles' in tact by supporting
the tendency to suppress and instead of confronting the problem, trying
to escape from it by using substitutes, staying in dependency of authorities,
but only asking them for help, when conditions are becoming too severe,
what usually means to expect a manipulation which takes the symptoms away.
When health authorities
are talking about prevention, they might have a good intention as individuals,
but probably they fail because the established system is so rigid and the
same the mass of people in it, that there is hardly any way to get out
of it to do something real about the cause. Prevention is not possible
because the base of all production of every thing people need or belief
they need, is money orientated and there are hardly any moral or ethic
present, how these things are produced and sold.
An
example: The soft drink 'Red Bull'
is sold all over the world, millions of cans are consumed. Only four or
five countries have restricted or forbidden the selling of this drink because
it is known, that 'Red Bull' can be deadly, especially when it is taken
together with alcohol. Read about it at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Bull
It is unbelievable that something like this is possible in a 'civilized
world'. Maybe thousands of people are killed by consuming something which
is announced in a most clever way by pushing the button of an essential
need: the wish to be able to fly! The same happens with nearly all we are
consuming. Prevention of health risks is limited to the obligation for
the producer to declare what kind of chemicals they put into food and drinks.
Are people free to
decide if they want to buy it or not? How can they be free if they are
under constant hypnotic influence of announcements? People are responsible
for themselves? Do people have the basic knowledge of all the chemicals
in their daily food and how poisoning these are? Is it people's own fault
if they get trapped with manipulations from sophisticated salesmen without
scruple? Nobody expect from children that they are aware of the danger
of medication, chemicals, etc. and it is written: "Keep away from children!"
But is there really a difference to so called 'grown ups'? Are they not
as innocent, naive and unconscious as children in their way they consume
and follow suggestions of clever money maker?
Chronic stress is a risk factor for heart disease,
and acute stress can trigger heart attacks. Regular yoga or other exercise
may help prevent both conditions by releasing stress and strengthening
the heart muscle.
This expression is not
very clear. Wouldn't it be necessary to say: "Heart symptoms in many cases
are caused by stress. These symptoms caused by psychic conditions later
turn into heart failure and organic conditions, when the reason the heart
trouble was caused is not treated and healed".
If stress is the cause
in the first place, why doctors don't talk with the patient how to change
this condition? Just by stating: "This comes from stress"
is obviously not enough. OK, it was said: "Yoga
and other exercises may help..." What
other exercises? Isn't the fact, that 17 million people are killed a year,
not enough to do something drastically about it? I mean talking more about
the real reason with the patient and giving exhausted advice how to prevent
that stress continues and takes over?
For sure not only
stress is causing heart trouble symptoms. It is pretty obvious that there
are more factors: All the poison we take in with whatever we eat, drink,
breath or touch. This is accumulated in the body system and is weakening
the whole system and when there is stress, then this becomes a 'deadly
cocktail'...
Heart disease and stroke kill some 17
million people a year, which is almost one-third of all deaths globally.
By 2020, heart disease and stroke will become the leading cause of both
death and disability worldwide, with the number of fatalities projected
to increase to over 20 million a year and by 2030 to over 24 million a
year.
The writer of the above
quote is convinced that heart disease and stroke will become the leading
cause of death and disability worldwide and that millions and more millions
of people will be killed every year. This statement is cold and cynical,
especially if there is not given any suggestion to do something about it.
(Or comes this information from a machine, a robot? - As it doesn't sound
human at all to me... Probably it comes from one of these scientific zombies!)
"The old stereotype of cardiovascular
diseases affecting only stressed, overweight middle-aged men in developed
countries no longer applies," said Dr Robert Beaglehole, WHO Director of
Chronic Diseases and Health Promotion. "Today, men, women and children
are at risk and 80% of the burden is in low- and middle-income countries.
Heart disease and stroke not only take lives, but also cause an enormous
economic burden. Investigations should be a significant new resource for
global advocacy and education activity."
Yes, investigation and
prevention should be done, but where is it? Oh yes: "Heart
disease and stroke not only take lives, but also cause an enormous economic
burden." Will it be first necessary that
the 'enormous burden' is not only carried by the mass of people
but becomes a significant disturbance to the economic balance of companies
and only then something will be done about it?
I can't wait and as
I don't depend on authorities, so I do my own investigation. Of course
I'm highly interested because I'm effected and don't want to become disable
or die because of my heart problems. Are doctors, scientific, politicians,
top managers and salesmen not affected by heart diseases? Maybe they have
no heart (or for what it stands for)? If the blood pump 'heart' they have,
is destroyed, because they suppress their emotions or any human feelings,
getting into a very subtle but specific destructive stress, then they just
get a new healthy blood pump. The organ transplantation are now becoming
a routine, nearly without risk and they easily can afford it... Oh boy!
Dr Judith Mackay, co-author of the atlas
with CDC's Dr George Mensah, said: No matter what advances there are in
high-technology medicine, the fundamental message is that any major reduction
in deaths and disability from heart disease and stroke will come primarily
from prevention, not just cure. This must involve robust reduction of risk
factors, through encouraging our children to adopt healthy lifestyle habits
and by introducing appropriate policies and intervention programs.
The evolution of the established
health system can't be stopped or avoided, high technology medicine will
be used more and more...
Yesterday a visitor
told me that she just came from a place where she had an amazing experience:
She was connected to a machine which not only made a complete diagnosis
of her whole physical system, but also including her traumas and psychological
condition. The same marvelous machine also treated her... This lady who
was so convinced that this is a wonderful development of modern medicine,
was not very content when I pointed out that with this the dependency and
established attitude not to take responsibility for oneself will be even
stronger. When machines take over diagnosis and treatment and there are
just needed a robot who receives the payment, then nobody will be responsible.
Isn't this great? Yaahoo!!
But not only high-tech
will do diagnosis and treatments but also will take over 'prevention'.
A few days ago I received an email with the announcement of seminars a
Doctor Hardt is giving in California. Connecting people to a 'bio feedback
machine' and so they can learn to release stress and come to levels of
total relaxation and bliss. This doctor is working since thirty years on
this and so it is understandable that he must charge for a one week long
seminar 15.000$ or for a try of two days only 5.000$. Apart of that one
can buy a software program at eBay for less than 10$ and with this one
can make one's own feedback machine, the tendency to depend on machines
seems to be attractive... But do we need any kind of machines to learn
to relax? The human system has its own inbuilt ways to receive and produce
feedback. But as the human tendency to search goes in the first place to
the outside, so connecting and looking at oneself lays not in the reach
of modern, high technology people...
Well said Dr. Judith
Mackay! "Any major reduction in
deaths and disability from heart disease and stroke will come primarily
from prevention". So
Judith, tell me what is your suggestion for prevention? "This
must involve robust reduction of risk factors, through encouraging our
children to adopt healthy lifestyle habits and by introducing appropriate
policies and intervention programs". Judith,
are you serious about this? You want to encourage children to adopt healthy
lifestyle habits? This let me be dumfound! You are joking or you are extremely
naive or you might be a politician, wanting to impress people with important
sounding words, promising something you never have the intention to complete.
While heart disease and stroke are eminently
preventable, decision makers and government funding agencies are, overall,
neglecting this public health issue, said Janet Voûte, CEO, WHF,
an NGO dedicated to the global prevention of heart disease and stroke.
DURHAM, N.C. -- Duke University Medical Center
researchers have found that congestive heart failure patients with major
depression appear twice as likely than those who are not depressed to die
or be re-admitted to the hospital within 12 months.
Since up to half of patients with clinically significant
heart failure die within five years of diagnosis -- a rate that has not
improved significantly over the years despite improvements in treatments
-- the Duke researchers recommend that all congestive heart failure (CHF)
patients be tested for the presence of major depression.
"Heart disease and
stroke are eminently preventable". If
this is so, then why are doctors not educated to be able to talk about
it with their patients when the first symptoms are showing up? Why 17 millions
of patients must die? They are told that their problems are caused by stress
then given tranquilizers and that's all? Doesn't 'to prevent' means that
the disease doesn't show up in the first place? Right? Or it could mean
that people with heart trouble, which are caused by stress, are treated
or advised that the stress doesn't continue and so prevent that the trouble
turns into an organic heart failure and then results in death? Wouldn't
this mean to prevent 'bypass', heart transplantation and early death? Is
there real 'prevention' with patients in the established health system?
Who tells that the stress can be avoided by the right lifestyle? What is
the right 'lifestyle'? For sure not what the mass of 'normal people' is
living! The word 'stress' is used very often since a few decades, but what
is 'stress' really? Isn't it just a symptom and not the cause? Again: Just
a word for an under laying, mostly unknown or not quested reason. Put a
label on something and with this every body is satisfied! Oh gosh!! Where
is the real root cause? Releasing stress by exercises might not be enough.
So what can be done about it and what is done?
What can I do to prevent
and heal my heart troubles? What could mean to prevent the stress causing
it. Until now I couldn't find any information about it and so I will need
to go on in my search. Or is there somebody who can give me a hint? This
would be very appreciated! It might save my life! At least for the moment
;-). But as there wasn't any comment from a health professional in ten
years of the existence of my health Web site, so I have little expectations...
My investigation
continues:
"What is stress really?"
This seems to me the most essential subject to clear up. I looked in Wikipedia
and found a lot of information about it, although not yet something which
shows the connection between stress and disease. Like:
.
Mental responses to stress include adaptive
(good) stress, anxiety, and depression. Where stress enhances function
(physical or mental) it may be considered good stress. However, if stress
persists and is of excessive degree, it eventually leads to a need for
resolution, which may lead either to anxious (escape) or depressive (withdrawal)
behavior.
.
.
One may further appreciate from that definition
that stress may derive from imagined experiences such as frightening movies.
Further, the fulcrum of stress response is the presence of disparity between
experience (real or imagined) and personal expectations. A person living
in a fashion consistent with personally-accepted expectations has no stress
even if the conditions might be interpreted as adverse from some outside
perspective - rural people may live in comparative poverty, and yet
be unstressed if there is a sufficiency according to their expectations.
Finally, when there is chronic disparity between experience and expectations,
stress may be relieved by acceptance. However, since acceptance is rarely
complete except in children, stress resolution by this approach is also
rarely complete. It has been said that stress is often a reaction to a
crisis of predictability, that the mind is solely an instrument of prediction,
and that the body may be divided into a vegetative process and an integrative
process.
I see that this can bring
some light into the stress problem, but I will need to translate this high
pitched intellectual expression into my own, more practical, simple language.
To do so I will need to dive deeper into the meaning, but at the moment
I need something more concrete to release the symptoms of my heart
trouble. So then I leave this for later...
About "Stress
management" I found: .
Stress management encompasses techniques
intended to equip a person with effective coping mechanisms for dealing
with psychological stress.
A cluttered environment with too many tasks can lead to stress:
My desk looks very similar
and indeed: looking for something I need urgently and then using endless
time to find it, gives me stress... "Too many tasks", yes indeed that's
it! But I'm in the situation of a father with many children to feed, can
I choose which one to let starve? NO! But then of course I get into stress.
It is now an accepted fact in the medical
community; according to recent research, that stress is one of the major
causes of all illnesses. Stress can cause migraines, stroke, eczema, a
weak immune system, and many other diseases. Hence, there is a growing
need for stress management.
For sure I don't want
to escape from this dilemma. I want to complete my task and not dying from
a heart disease, so I trust that a creative solution will show up. I know
that meditation will be of help and also will help to find what I need...
Definition of stress:
Stress management defines stress precisely as a person's physiological
response to an internal or external stimulus that triggers the "fight-or-flight"
reaction.
This quote seems to be
of essential importance and can be a key,
although by itself it doesn't say much. So I will need to go more and deeper
into it. Later...
Techniques of stress
help:
* self-understanding (e.g.self-identification
as a Type A or Type B personality) No link available!
*
cognitive therapy and Cognitive_behavioral_therapy
* self-management (e.g. becoming
better-organized) No link available!
*
conflict resolution This link
is about 'dispute resolution' and goes off the topic.
* positive attitude No
link available! This for sure is an essential part of one's healing
and also
important to stay healthy. Isn't the root of stress that one reacts out
of
one's
established self image and the concepts one has adapted? So one wants that
this
world view is confirmed and all things happen in the way one wants
it and all
people
behave the same as one wants it? And as this doesn't work and reality is
different,
so this creates disappointment and the need to fight or to withdraw
oneself
and so stress is produced. With accumulated tension in the follow up causing
health
problems... So how could one adapt a 'positive attitude'? For sure not
with
smile
on one's face even when one is sad, angry or feeling desperate. This subject
needs
more reflection... Later more...
*
autogenic training I found this Web
site which gives free advice how to do it.
It is
very similar to EFT what I am doing and
which works well for me.
*
breathing Here I couldn't find any
practical advice. My naive advice would be:
Relax,
be aware of your breathing, without wanting to do something about it. Just
observe
it and then you will notice that it calms down and you might fall asleep.
*
progressive relaxation This is about 'muscle
relaxation' with practical advice.
*
meditation (history of the word but no practical
advice given) If one wants to know
how to
do it, free from any dogma or belief system, can visit my meditation
page
*
Yoga Yoga has become primarily associated
with the practice of asanas
postures
from
Hatha
Yoga (see Yoga
as exercise) and so is not connected to any religion.
*
T'ai Chi Ch'uan "Studies have indicated
improved cardiovascular and respiratory
function
in healthy subjects as well as those who had undergone coronary artery
bypass
surgery. Patients also benefited from T'ai Chi who suffered from heart
failure,
high blood pressure, heart attacks, arthritis and multiple sclerosis."
*
exercise "Frequent and regular aerobic
exercise has been shown to help prevent
or
treat serious and life threatening chronic conditions such as high blood
obesity,
heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, insomnia, and depression.
*
diet In my view the alimentation
people are using is the second main cause of all
diseases
after 'stress' as a cause or it comes first, I don't know. But probably
it
goes
well together.... If one would be sensitive and listen to one's body, not
using
food
as a substitute to fulfill needs which lay on another level, then there
would be
no need
to fall into the trap of salesmen and this would be no subject here.
*
laughter It has been shown that laughing
helps protect the heart.
I like to laugh
and I
laugh whenever an opportunity shows up, life is full of comic, but when
I look
at the
reality about health, then there is nothing to laugh about...
*
Time Management
Some techniques of time management may help a
person to control stress. For example:
* becoming more organized
and reducing the generation of clutter
* setting priorities can help
reduce anxiety
* using a "to do" list of
tasks that a person needs to complete can give a person a sense of control
and accomplishment
Effective stress management involves learning
to set limits and to say "No" to some demands that others make.
I am amazed how much information
is available! It will need some time to go through all the links. But I
will take my time not to get into more stress...
Yes, there is a lot
of information out there. It is overwhelming indeed! It becomes clear to
me, that all information is like the many pieces of a puzzle one can find,
if one looks for them, but then one has to put the pieces together and
this can be done only by oneself. Nobody can help much with it, as it is
an individual process, part of the growing. Growing up! What means getting
out of dependencies and taking self responsibility!
I will start
with the management of my stress situation, finding out what causes the
stress and how I can reduce it. So I make a list: 
My
stress is caused by:
...
20 % Stress produced
by being aware of the world situation and people's suffering and my feeling
to b impotent to do something significant about it.
A world situation
which leads to total destruction. People's and animal's suffering which
mostly is senseless and indeed it is because it is not used in a creative
way as development of the individual and so of the whole species. Suffering
and feeling as a victim doesn't lead anywhere, only into depression and
more suffering. As long as the situation is not seen as a challenge and
the position is taken to confront the situation, as long the chance is
wasted and no development and growing can come out of it! Not personal
and not as a species.
10 % Stress produced
in me by people at FB, their attitude and behavior, their lack of
awareness, their defensive attitude, the lack of communication.
Mainly the stress
is caused because I feel impotent to do something about it, as there is
so much defense and resistance. I accept this as a reality of human nature,
otherwise it would cause much more stress and I wouldn't have been able
to continue since more than twenty years...
20 % Stress produced
by my feeling of incapacity to do something effective.
As this is my personal
reaction to the reality, causing the stress, it will reduce the stress
if I just accept the facts even more, understanding that this is the condition
of human nature in people.
10 % Stress produced
because of overload of work with daily maintaining the place.
It would cause much
more stress if I wouldn't be able to 'take it easy', what on the other
hand makes that I'm not giving much advice to people and expect that they
contribute by bringing in their own initiative... And that seems ask far
too much.
20 % Stress produced
by unfinished work of projects at FB.
For the same reason
I can't supervise enough the work in progress and so things get started
but then get stuck.
10 % Stress produced
by my yet unhealed hernia.
I'm using about 10
% of my energy for doing exercises to heal my hernia, apart of the
needed energy to deal with this disturbance.
10 % Stress produced
by all the mess in my room and all around at FB.
To find something,
it needs so much time which is needed to do other things and then not being
able to do these, this is causing stress. I still hold the image of a beautiful,
clean place, esthetic and well organized. I can take the mess, seeing it
as a process, but also I realize that it gives me stress not being able
to change things faster...
10 % Stress produced
by being unable to do things I want to do.
There are things I
would like to do, for example writing poetry, which could give me energy
and reduce the stress, but to do so its needs at least some space which
is not occupied with something else. OK: I trust that this free space will
show up soon.
10 % Stress produced
by unresolved problems with administration, computer, Internet connection,
broken fork truck, pump, electricity, water, etc.
The many hours and
days necessary to deal with technical and bureaucratic things is causing
stress which would be much stronger if I wouldn't take all this as part
of the game...
10 % Stress produced
by obstacles to complete FB's intention.
The above is part
of the game, as well the many obstacles with people and the discrepancy
between new ideas and society's established concepts.
5 % Stress produced
by personal relation problems.
This is not possible
to avoid and wouldn't be a problem if there wouldn't be an overload and
so even little will cause stress.
5 % Stress produced
by the feeling of getting older
This feeling is caused
by not having enough energy and then not being able to enjoy one's existence
fully.
5 % Stress produced
by eating disorder (chocolate).
As an instinct way
to compensate stress, it is causing gain weight and so making the healing
of my hernia more difficult. It is clear that this needs a decision, so:
No more chocolate!
5 % Stress produced
by the loss of friends.
The loss of Caobo
my horse, is still an emotional impact and so as well the loss of Bua,
my cat. Sadness will be transformed in its own time... But writing
this I see that every time somebody is leaving, I feel a kind of loss,
especially there was not enough time given to come near to each other...
5 % Stress produced
by the lack of response to my work/intention/expression.
Not because of the
need for my personal confirmation, but the lack of response makes me think
that there is no need for my expression and the intention to give something
essential to help people in their desperate situation and which could initiate
a change. Of course there is a need, even though there is resistance and
defense. So I don't worry about the lack of acceptance, I do what seems
to be necessary and the most effective. The lack of response only makes
me thing if there is a way to offer it in a more acceptable way and then
I will change the expression. But of course: A feedback would help to find
the best way...
---------
170
% produced stress is partly released through:
50 % Stress
Release Exercise
10 % essential projects
started (booklet are printed in Spanish, English and Korean. Translations
ready to be printed in Portuguese, Polish, French.)
10 % being in nature and
with our animals
10 % healthy food
5 % contact with people
5 % EFT and exercises
5 % friends
______
95 % released 75 %
unresolved stress causing heart symptoms.
What
might give a higher release:
10 % more being in nature,
walks, going to the beach
10 % cleaning up my room,
cleaning the place FB. Organizing things better.
10 % healing my hernia
10 % response to my work
5 % recovering from loss
of friends
10 % resolved administration
problems and repaired equipment
20 % more support from
friends, sharing daily work and intention...
_______
75 % all of the remaining
stress would be resolved!!! And all heart trouble would disappear! Ok,
this is theory. Probably there will not be more response to my work. Even
thing get repaired, other things will break down. I better shouldn't depend
on help from other people. So as a consequence: I need to change my expectations
and my attitude. OK, so be it.
Well, this list helped me to see clearer and where to
start with a change: With myself in the first place and then with outside
solutions.
Update:
When
I look at the list what could give me a higher release, then I can only
think: Oh boy! Nothing of this has happened:
10 % more being in nature,
walks, going to the beach
No beach, no walks.
It is cold and rainy and if there is a sunny day, then there is too much
to do...
10 % cleaning up my room,
cleaning the place FB. Organizing things better.
Rainwater comes into
my room and is more messy than ever before. It' not possible to organize
thing better; there's enough to do to cover things that the rain doesn't
destroy all.
10 % healing my hernia
There is some development
and so release.
10 % response to my work
and some help
From there hardly
comes any release.
5 % recovering from loss
of friends
Every time somebody
leaves I felt good with, then this is felt as a loss and this happens too
often.
10 % resolved administration
problems and repaired equipment
Nothing could be resolved,
it is worse than ever: Fork truck broken, mechanic had an accident, car
broken down, Internet doesn't work, electricity fails any moment, rain
comes in every where, etc.
20 % more support from
friends, sharing daily work and intention...
That's still in the
air...
Resume: OK,
the list served me to become aware where my stress comes from, although
the solution obviously doesn't lay there. The most important and essential
and what can help me to deal with conditions and situations, is my attitude.
This influences how I relate and respond to daily situations and here the
amount of stress builds up and is then more or less. Big part of my attitude
is formed by my expectations and the desire to complete those. There shows
up a dilemma and I will need to reflect about it...
Now I understand what
is meant by: "A person's physiological
response to an internal or external stimulus that triggers the "fight-or-flight"
reaction."
I didn't understand
until now what 'stress' really is and what is causing it. And the same
happens obviously with all people out there: They have heart problems or
other health issues, they go to the doctor and are told that this is caused
by stress. Then they take some medication and go on, until there show up
organic damage and the system breaks down... Bypass, surgery, transplant...
OK, that's not my
way and now as I start to understand what 'stress' really is, I will be
able to do something about it, although the 'doing' is not a doing in the
first place, it is more a being aware of my own conditions: My attitudes,
my world view, my expectations, my unconscious pattern, my vision, my concerns
and probably much more...
When I read again what I have written at this page, then
I can understand why nobody is giving me any feedback, probably nobody
is even reading it: It is just tooo much, toooo many words and not yet
offered a concrete solution, which could be taken that easy like a pill.
I really wish I could give this to suffering people, but it becomes clearer
and clearer that healing needs one's total engagement and responsibility.
One can listen to every body and search all over the place, but if there
is dependency in whatever aspect, then one's healing is blocked. Being
aware of this is a step in one's healing process and one has to make, as
a consequence coming out of it, one's decisions, what might be another
challenge and a hard thing to do!
I still have heart
trouble, although it is better now, maybe because I have the space here
to express myself. Yes, of course, this is another way for an effective
stress release: Just expressing my thoughts and feelings! I could go into
the forest and use a tree or rock for it, talking and screaming at it.
OK, so I do the same here...
I'm pretty sure that without my daily 'Stress
Release Exercise' I would not be able to go on. Since a few days I'm
feeling better, I didn't connect this with the fact that I'm doing 'Sun
gazing' again since a few days. I haven't done it all winter. Today
when I did it, it was cold but the sun was beautiful, I felt like the tension
were leaving me like a cloud dissolved into the sky. Indeed I felt much
better, so I decided to do the Sun gazing every evening from now on.
A decision is one
thing, but then... There was no sunshine since I made the decision...
Update:
Several weeks passed
and drastically things happened: Since three weeks I'm laying in bed with
a broken leg, not being able to move at all. The first two weeks were very
painful and a real torture, especially because I rejected all painkiller
and any medication. Since a few days at least I can sit for some time and
use the computer. I got some help for not using the computer because there
was no Internet connection for three weeks, then no telephone connection
and then the server had problems and our Web site didn't show up. Well,
just the normal daily hustle, but I couldn't do anything about it and was
forced to relaxed. I had time to reflect about all and to find out about
it, looking for the positive aspect in it. Indeed there is: This forced
6 week vacation makes a profound change in my condition. I have ask myself
why I had this silly accident. The inside I had was very clear: If I wouldn't
have had this accident, then probably I would have gotten a heart infarct
with a much more serious outcome. Then there is another positive aspect:
Since about two weeks before my accident my hernia seemed to be healed,
because it didn't hurt at all and it didn't come out. But I wasn't sure
about it and still was wearing the truss when working, although not when
taking the sauna, going to the toilet, etc. Laying in bed now for two weeks
for sure was good to heal the hernia completely and when I went to the
hospital yesterday for a check, then I didn't do anything to protect the
hernia. There was no problem, no pain after this. So now I will need to
be in bed for another three weeks and this for sure is favorable for the
complete healing of my hernia. Of course I am continuing with my daily
exercises I have described on my 'hernia page'.
There are several
more positive aspects: I'm able now to take some distance from my normal
daily work and all the projects I have done and so find a new way... I
will see...
Even laying in bed
I can't avoid to have stress, but I'm aware when it happens, not only because
my heart rate goes up immediately... although there are no more frightening
symptoms.
|
Oneself
