Ricky: All of my life, I've been very sensitive
to my surroundings, peoples
emotions, and chaos.
BeiYin: Maybe first we should
reflect about what it means to be 'sensitive'. Every
alive system and even more general: every existing
form, probably even on all
existing levels, is sensitive against everything
which might influence their
existence, as a negative or positive influence.
It is connected with the very basic
need to survive. (Later on we might need to find
out what it means 'to survive'.)
A system with less sensitivity has less possibilities
to survive. The defense
reaction, closing up against possible hostile
influences, which might be unknown or known from previous experience as
dangerous, might come too late to protect the
system if the system is not sensitive enough.
On the other hand a certain openness
is also necessary to survive. It depends on the
evolution of the system, if there is
more openness and so more possibilities to survive,
this requires at the same time
more sensitivity. If there is no or very little
sensitivity then in the same relation there are no reactions or very little,
mainly serving to defend the system.
A stone is defending itself by having a rigid
and hard structure, there is very little openness and hardly any reactions.
I guess being a stone is already the result of a reaction which happened
long before, when the system was still open and vulnerable.
There are people like stones, they became stones
because they reacted to influences from the outside and have chosen to
close up, becoming less sensitive and so can't that easy be hurt. We are
surrounded by people who are reacting similar and it is sad to watch all
these zombies and insensitive people. They are also mostly little expressive.
They don't allow influences to enter and in the same way they are not capable
to express themselves. To show themselves they would need to open up.
But they can't, they have chosen to protect
themselves by making themselves numb,
insusceptible and insensitive. They might feel
like victims, but they have chosen to
react like this out of their own decision, although
this happens unconsciously.
Dealing with such people, - we should not forget
that there are many like this,
maybe most of all humans, - so it will not help
them and not ourselves in our
relation to them, if we don't treat them as sensible
as we can. If we are not
carefully with them, then they will close up
even more or react in their way to
protect themselves. We should always be aware
of this and not see their behavior and reactions as a personal attack against
us. Otherwise we will react in the same way by closing up and defending
ourselves. Let's stay open and see the other person in a different light,
what will allow us to respond differently, what will open up the other
person as well, at least there are more possibilities to find a way out
of the personal straitjacket.
So we can see that sensitivity is a growing condition
on our walk through evolution. Wanting to reduce this would mean to cut
oneself off from an amplified life,
reducing oneself in one's awareness and most
of one's abilities.
When you feel that you can't deal with reality
because you are too sensitive, that
probably means that you feel uncomfortable with
your own reactions arising by
encountering your daily life circumstances. You
can try to withdraw from these
circumstances, many people not being able to
avoid them withdraw by reducing their awareness, manipulating themselves
with techniques or chemicals, - making
themselves numb.
The key to be able to deal with our daily reality
lays in our attitude towards
people and their rambling or chaotic circumstances.
Why we are reacting? Probably being disgusted. Why we are disgusted? This
is our world, it is in many aspects very disgusting. That's what it is,
this is a fact and we can struggle and fight against it and feel frustrated,
uncomfortable and disappointed. We might even suffer and feel unhappy,
up to such an extend that we fall into deep depression. Why?
Because we don't feel at home in a world of chaos?
But this is our home, you might
like it or not. If you are an artist, then you
are a creative person and you are
capable to use the chaos to create your own expression.
Didn't 'God' create this
world and all beings out of the chaos? I am not
that familiar with the bible stuff
(I'm not a Christian) but isn't it written that
God made human similar to
him(her?)self? That would mean being able to
create out of the chaos something
new, a personal expression going beyond the chaos?
Again: It might be your attitude towards the
chaos what makes it difficult to deal
with it and you are not yet capable to relate
in a creative way to it. Can you have
a look at this?
OK, I said that the world is like it is. So we
might accept it like it is and see
what we can do with it, the best way possible.
Fighting against circumstances
because they are not like we want them to be,
seems in the most cases a wasting of
energy. Wanting to change the world might be
an idealistic idea, but might be an
escape from the inevitable confrontation with
oneself.
Let's say we accept the world and people like
they are. Not out of resignation, but
with the positive view that whatever there is,
is the best it can be at this moment.
Now, this will not avoid that we are still reacting,
that means that we will feel
disgusted or whatever. But now maybe we will
be able to look at our own reaction and realize that we are reacting because
we still are NOT accepting what shows up. This is the moment when we can
make a conscious decision, because we can see that our reaction comes out
of our personal structure, programmed and conditioned from our past. Remember,
for this we need our sensitivity, so be thankful that you have it!
Don't complain that you are suffering because
of your sensitivity, this is the
vehicle you need for your journey... Is this
clearer now?
Ricky: Years ago, I began meditating, and it was
a considerable relief in centering myself and releasing tension, as well
as a great enhancement to worshiping and communing with God. However, meditation
has always made me more sensitive to the outside world. Although, it has
nourished compassion, I find that I get more irritated and intolerant towards
outside ramble, when someone rambles aimlessly, or when I'm in chaotic
situations.
BeiYin: Meditation is important
and will help a lot on the path. But it is not an
escape or better said it shouldn't be one. It
is an awareness training. You can learn to accept what shows up and this
in a relatively secure situation, so you can relax and open yourself. As
one of the results you will be more sensitive and as we know by now, this
will further you on your path...
Ricky: It is not a problem when I meditate, only
when I am not.
BeiYin: Of course, because
when you meditate then you have excluded the outside world with it's provocation
and reactions triggering influences. You only have to deal with what shows
up during your meditation and it depends on your meditation 'technique'
how you deal with that or not. Now when you know that the 'problems' are
problems because of your attitude towards what shows up in your daily life
and that 'problems' are telling you that the way you are dealing with 'outside'
circumstances should be checked and maybe seen in a different and more
positive view, then your 'sensitivity' will serve you to respond in the
best creative way. To further your growing process in these daily details
and will make you feel happier in general.
Ricky: There are several protection techniques
that I know, but none have seemed to help.
BeiYin: It seems to me that
you are protected from a higher level against those
'protection techniques'. You don't need any kind
of manipulation to protect yourself.
That doesn't mean that you can't choose where
you go and with which people
you are gathering. You don't need to share your
time and space with somebody you
don't feel comfortable with. Right? Take care
of yourself but you don't need to
'protect' yourself. You are protected, trust
yourself!
I hope that this can serve as a 'stepping stone'
and helps you and others to do the next step with eyes more open...
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