BeiYin: I ask you not to make any decision
yet which you can't change, so don't sell anything etc. It seems it is
not yet the time. It would be easier if you could come for a visit for
a duration of about three months. In any case it would not be good if you
come without a return ticket. It looks like discussion is getting tough
now. That's all right that people are leaving, others will come and hopefully
give more creative impulses...
Pedro: Don't worry about that. The good
part of being hit several times is that discernment grows. I see more clear
now, though I know there is more to see... I prefer tough honest discussion
that what we got before. I tell you again: let's see how much light comes
out of the ego veil. Some times one gets the illusion to have achieved
something that is still in the field of possibilities.
BeiYin: I do not worry at all. I am just
trying to avoid to have to pay later for being unaware in moments when
it is better to face reality.
Pedro: I'll tell you a story which happened
to me 3 years ago in The Andes (Merida): I came to know an italian gentleman
who out of inspiration built, besides his home a wonderful place, ideal
to have seminars, conferences and things like that. I visited him several
times and told him there were people in need of such a place to give away
their New Age ideas, me among them. The man said "I don't know, i still
don't know what I built this for". I visited him several times and he told
me the same thing. Last year I visited the place and was still empty and
without use.
BeiYin: In one email you told me that once
you were running such a place in the Andes and that you gave it up because
it didn't work out... hm -- Quote: Pedro: " I Built a place in the Andes
some years ago, with much less terrain, but with the purpose of attracting
people to share in somehow a spiritual way. I felt it was a failure." This
doesn't need any comment. - - -
Pedro: Heaven gave a place to someone
to administer, yet something got in the way and what was meant to be never
was.
BeiYin: I guess this is your interpretation,
valid for you but not for someone else.
Pedro: That FB is your place we cannot
argue. But, is it really yours or was it given to you to administer, maybe
for your lifetime?
BeiYin: If you would have read carefully
what I have written, then you would know that I always emphasize that I
am just the administrator, the gardener, the caretaker, the manager or
the keeper. Responsible and doing my best, but just as good as I am capable.
If I wouldn't have had this attitude, I wouldn't have been able to run
such a place for more than twenty years. When people are calling me 'owner'
then mostly because of their frustration that they don't own such a wonderful
place and I tell you, there were enough 'spiritual' people, gurus, etc.
who tried to take over...
Pedro: Is it possible that you listen in
that state of silence you talk about, the following questions? Are you
flowing? What is so kind in your poetry and turns to be so hard in your
daily talk? What are you defending or what are you afraid of?
BeiYin: I am not afraid of anything what
has to do with this place. As I said before: I can leave at this moment...
But as long I am here and responsible, I will defend this place against
people who want to use me or the place only for their own advantage, for
their 'trips' and their more or less 'dirty games'. When I am clear about
this, then I make a decision, you might call it 'hard', because I have
learned to be pretty quick not talking around in nice words. (waffles)
Pedro: Do you really believe this nonsense
of the esoteric astrologer that only 5 or 10 people on this planet are
able to listen to your call?
BeiYin: This 'nonsense' is the confirmation
of my experience of many years. The correct number I mentioned is: one
out of 10 million to 100 million. That would make about min. 50 and max.
500 people on this planet and this seems to be realistic.
Pedro: I have known many more than that
just in Venezuela and so there are around the planet. Right now I could
gather enough people, here in Venezuela, to fill FB and do what ever has
to be done there.
BeiYin: In FalconBlanco has to be done
nothing, there can be done a lot, but nobody and nothing is pushing. During
the last five years I haven't done anything, what has happened came without
my pointed intention. When you know so many people who are ready and in
a need of such a place, why you didn't fill the place you were running
in the Andes? That you can gather enough people to fill FB, there is no
doubt, but are these the people who are ready? There are even enough people
here in Ibiza to fill FB. Right now we are more than ten persons and if
I would want, tomorrow we could be twenty. We are working and we have fun
together, but these are not the people needed to form a team, I have said
enough about this in other posts.
Pedro: BUT... are you ready? Have you considered
that hundreds of people might have approached you in the past, with the
intention to help or join FB, and it has been you the one who has dismissed
them?
BeiYin: Are you the speaker of the 'Cosmos'?
Who are you to ask such a question? What are you pretending? Have you done
it better, so that you know how to do it better? What do you know about
me and what I have done the last twenty years? You wrote that you visited
FB fifteen years ago, I doubt this. Can you tell me in which occasion you
came here? Was it a conference or a workshop? Or a healing festival, or
a manager training? A belly dance seminar or a african drummer weekend?
Or was a Zen retreat, a Buddhist meditation seminar, a sweat lodge weekend
or a mud bath? Tell me...
Pedro: By the way, we haven't built a FB
here in Venezuela because we have not the material support: the money and
the land.
BeiYin: What are you talking about? This
reason is ridiculous. When I came to Ibiza I had no money and no material
support, just a little money to do a first payment for the land. I build
this place up and I was alone, no help from other people at all. And you
tell me that you have a lot of people and are not being able to start something
if you really want and need it. Your arguments are pretty weak and show
more about you as you probably like to show.
Pedro: It is part of THE GAME that some
pieces of the puzzle are given to some one, and other pieces to the other.
It is up to us to find the way to get together our pieces. You a piece,
we have the other. Are we going to keep playing stupid not to gather because
of our egos?
Bei-Yin: What pieces do you pretend to
have? You want me to give my piece to you? If not then I am stupid and
don't do what you want because I have too much 'Ego'? I heard this before,
when I offered FB freely to a 'spiritual master' but he was not satisfy
to use the place for free. He wanted the "escritura" of the place... (Paper
of ownership) and he tried his best tricks, I tell you, magic included!
Pedro: As i read the posts coming from
you I read between lines...
Bei-Yin: I don't like that you read between
lines, better stay with what is expressed by my words. You are interpreting
too much and it is pretty obvious that you are projecting and using me
as a mirror.
Pedro: ...there is a human being with a
vision of a spiritual place built on earth, who has gone through spiritual
experiences with him self, with nature, with soul.
BeiYin: I try not to become bored by repeating
again and again what I have said before: FB is not a 'spiritual place'
and there doesn't exist any vision about it. Maybe you haven't read the
post I had send this morning: "Being free or staying
with Intellectual and Emotional Spirituality?" I believe there I have
shown what I mean. If it isn't clear by then, I must admit that I am not
capable to make myself been understood and so I will have to decide to
shut up and leave it to others to say it better. (But as there are two
parts involved, the best explanation will not do it...)
Pedro: I see also a human being with reaction,
anger, fear as well as a yearning for complement, sharing love and kindred
fellowship. Somewhere in that mixture there is an aspect which has been
built out of perseverance, but taken to an extreme has led to stubbornness.
I see someone in need of help, yet refusing it.
BeiYin: Whatever
you see, you are mixing too much of your own thing into it. That makes
it extremely difficult to talk about it and any discussion will come to
a dead end, because you are right and you see that what is wrong within
me. If you see 'someone in need of help' then this is obviously you. I
have said clear enough that I don't need any help and have explained why...
Pedro: I propose this to you: You need
help in FB? Then let your self be helped!! Don't stand in the middle of
your own way to paradise!
BeiYin: Pathetic! - I don't need help in
Falcon Blanco. I get all the help I need in every moment, the outside is
secondary. FalconBlanco is all right how it is and it has always been all
right. FB is a process as well as I am in a process, I might call it a
'vision' at this moment or a chaos or chaord in an other moment and this
surely has nothing to do with images, goals or concepts. Part of the 'vision'
is that a team comes together. This team is part of the vision and people
who might come together must 'come together' but not to help but to BE
the vision.
Pedro: You want to make a statement and
expression of your spirituality?
BeiYin: Not at all. (Again: read my comment
"Being
free or staying...") I am expressing myself and say what feels right
to me in the given moment by responding to what comes to me. I don't give
a pepino about if this is 'spiritual' or not.
Pedro: Don't talk so much spiritual stuff
and just be humble. Can't you just say "hey, you might be right, I will
consider that, you have a point there, your ideas and mine will make a
better one, let's share"?
BeiYin: Who are you to tell me to be humble?
You want to hear that you are right? OK, that you can have: YOU ARE RIGHT!
You have indeed some points there, but if I would follow your advice to
be more humble, what I am anyway in any moment, then the consequence would
be that I shut up totally, close this mailing list and disappear from the
monitors... You are talking about 'ideas'. I tell you, even you will not
believe it: I have no ideas to share, I can only share myself, that's what
I am trying to do. The dilemma is that the medium 'cyber space' is limited
to words and these are used and understood depending on the user, with
all his/her limitations.
Pedro: Go over the last posts and watch
your comments: they all are a statement of "I know this better than you
do". Sometimes that is true, for sure. But how would you feel to have someone
correct every paragraph of your speech?
BeiYin: I would appreciate very much if
someone would correct me, if necessary every word. It happens very seldom
that people respond, that's something common in the Internet and a creative
critique is even more rare. About being statements or not of my comments,
I will leave to judge this to other people from this list.
Pedro: Can you accept that behind the words
of Lobster, of Blenda, of me, and some other I don't know, there
is a need to share in equal terms? That our comments are not attacks but
an expression of care and love for you and your vision, which after all
is ours too?
BeiYin: What do you think is my need about
sharing? Quote Lobster: "Saying we will come together and something will
happen - rubbish - nothing will happen except good intentions and woolly
thinking." Or: " I have deleted the whole of your post because it is just
waffle. If you want to waffle - please find someone else..." Is this an
expression of care and love? Vaya love!
Pedro: Come on buddy, loosen up, let your
self be hugged. Just say: OK, I listen. What do you want to say?
BeiYin: I do not feel alone, because I
know that there are people out there who are not misinterpreting me, who
are able to receive me through my expression. I am not angry or frustrated
that there are others who don't. If I would be disappointed because of
not being seen and been understood, I would be in a permanent deep depression
and that's not where I'm at. Not at all, even if I am tired of these
many words...
Pedro: A funny thing I feel is that we
are having such a hard discussion and we might be totally in agreement...
BeiYin: This is not a hard discussion.
Obviously you are not long enough in the Internet discussions or you never
participated in discussions in news groups, otherwise you would know what
a 'hard discussion' is. I am still very gentle with you and others and
I have the intention to keep it like this. That's the reason why I have
changed your subject line from: " In war and peace, still brothers" into:
"Different Views", because there is no war and there is no peace. 'War'
I am rejecting and 'peace' is a 'waffle image' if it is not lived.
Pedro: Sometimes, love pills are hard to
swallow. You behave like a rebel child to take your medicine. It's your
choice and it's your time, I respect that. Time is the best master, we'll
see what he has for us in the future.
As for the present, I had enough. I learnt a
few lessons in all this. Thank you for that.
Ego veil proved to be quite thick...